These are short reflections on how I developed as a reader and writer throughout the years and this semester.

Area 1: Self as a Reader

I will always have a great disdain for AP English. My AP English teacher warped my perspective as a reader. I was always encouraged that literature unless explicated stated by the author and even then, that everything is and should be up to interpretation. So, you can imagine my frustration, that every essay, every quiz, every test, and every class discussion limited opinions and unique perspectives. Quizzes and exams were based on remembering irrelevant details of mundane events on random pages, i.e. “What color shoes did this background character wore on page 26?” How in the world does that even show I grasped the meaning behind the work? The AP test was no better. Once again, literature is expected to have only one correct answer, only one correct meaning. When we consume any form of content, as consumers we bring past experiences, other works, unique interpretations, and who to say how we viewed and how the work impacted us is incorrect. As a reader, I love to be fully immersed. I enjoy making the story and characters my own, bringing a perspective the last reader couldn’t bring because they weren’t me. Despite being known as a classic, I hate One Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I brought the perspective of being a woman, having a mental condition, I noticed mainly flaws. The protagonist is a terrible person and many root for him. Were supposed to see Nurse Ratchet as an evil woman, but she’s doing her job. I was the only person in my class who wrote a rhetorical analysis about the sexist undertones of the novel. I remember receiving an 86. It’s a good grade but only one comment attached made me realized why it was that grade. My teacher did not agree, he instead went off about how I was wrong, and I couldn’t be correct. Every paper afterwards aligned only with what my teacher believed and then my grades improved. Literature is an art, art is fluid in meaning.

Area 2: Writing Situations

“Constructing a sentence is the equivalent of taking a Polaroid snapshot: pressing the button and watching something emerge. To write one is to document and to develop at the same time”

~ Jhumpa Lahiri

Thoughts, words, to fully coherent sentences, is a process that takes forever. The moment the visual, physical, auditory stimuli enters our mind it turns into something more. Sensation becomes perception and we should be able to write that perception down as if it is second nature. I can look around me where I am situated writing this reflection and I can immediately create and develop what is occurring. I am cold, stressed, next to a window. Outside is the crowded traffic filled Amsterdam Ave. However, if I would read this I would think its trash, mainly because I’m too judgmental of my own writing. So, I would delete, delete, delete and rewrite the same words but different. The chills down my spines, my head banging from the lack of sleep and food. The bustling winter traffic of Amsterdam Ave. Yet I still hate it. It is so difficult to write one goddamn sentence. Despite the process of sensation to perception being instantaneously. Despite being known as an instant camera, Polaroids take forever to develop color is about 10-15 mins and black & white is 15-20 mins. Even if the photo capture was doing in a moment, to fully emerge and develop it takes a while. Waiting can be frustrating, but rushing can ruin the photograph completely. Just like writing, rushing through won’t allow your thought to fully develop, capture the emotions.

Area 3: Language and Identity

Language is both universal and interpersonal. A tree is a tree. Anyone can see a tree and know what it is. However, a tree is not only a tree is also drvo, arbre, stablo, strom, boom, fa, igi, arbor, treet, etc. We have so many ways to say the same thing and express the same feelings.  While language is not synonymous with identity, it helps us express our identity. Language can be viewed as a verbal expression of culture, but it is not the culture its self. I speak both English and Spanish, expressions of both my American and Caribbean cultures and upbringing. Going more in-depth, I speak three Spanish dialects, Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Castilian.  Puerto Rican and Dominican dialects come from my upbringing while Castilian comes from a formal education in Spanish. When it comes to English, a lot of my words come from different groups. They’re certain terms only used in the Bronx or other New York Burroughs. Timbs are Timberland brand boots. Its brick means it is very cold. Among the LGBT+ crews, I would utilize phrases such as skinny legend, snatched, qween, etc. I picked up certain slang from the different groups I am in, which represents who am I.